2016 has been a year full of movies; there are still many that I need to see, but out of the 83 2016 films that I have watched as of posting this countdown, I have compiled a best and worst list. More accurately, these are my favorites and least favorites, subjective and personal so my own tastes and experiences.
Note: since there are still many films that I need to see, this is Version 1 of my list, with Version 2 being posted on February 1st, and the final Version 3 being posted on February 25th. Without further adieu, here are my picks for Worst Films of the Year, numbers 10-6.
10) The Angry Birds Movie. This 90 minute movie was based off of an iOS game, and the story in the game was better, with characters that were far less annoying. The whole “Angry Birds”concept is a short sketch that is drawn out and stretched to a feature-film length, and there is simply not enough content to warrant this film to have been made. Not only that, but the gag that they’re all angry all the time is just exhausting; for a kid’s movie, I could see how kids could have been entertained, but I was not into this movie whatsoever. When the birds eventually, and finally, get to the Island of Pigs, I was more into it since it was more like the Angry Birds game, but this movie butchered every other possibly good aspect. I mean, even the mighty bird in this film was ridiculous, and even his presence in the film got on my nerves. Would not watch this again.
9) The Boy. A horror film released early in the year, how could this NOT have sucked? I’m going to go ahead an issue a spoiler warning for this film, because I have to talk about that terrible ending… what in the ass?! Okay, here’s how the film is marketed: an old couple have a son, who is actually a doll, that they take care of because he is possessed and will hurt and haunt you if you don’t follow his rules. What is actually going on: the boy, whom the doll represents, is alive and is living in the walls of the house, and he is now a grown man, around age 30. He himself is the one who moves the doll, which makes us think that the doll is moving by itself. This isn’t a horror movie anymore, it’s a comedy, and it’s terrible at being both. Don’t watch this movie, unless you want to regret losing 90 minutes of your life.
8) Ride Along 2 is a bad sequel to a bad movie. I’ve now seen both of these films in theaters, and I don’t know why I didn’t learn my lesson from the first. Like Central Intelligence, this film tries to be some buddy-cop film, but it is not funny, there is no good action, and the two lead characters are, like a lot of other films on my list, cartoons! Ice Cube sort of plays the same character that he is in every movie, and Kevin Hart does the exact same thing that he does in every other movie, too. In fact, this movie is just like every other movie and I don’t remember anything about it at all, except for how I felt walking out. There better not be a third one, because I’m going to see it and I’m going to be shitty when it sucks just as bad as this one. Just watch The Nice Guys and move on.
7) Gods of Egypt is an uproarious disaster of a film, and director Alex Proyas was so offended by critics’ opinions of this film, that he typed out a long response calling out critics for bandwagoning against his film without actually thinking about the movie itself. Well guess what, Alex: even fans of your previous works hated your movie, too, and it’s not bandwagoning that is occuring here. This film is an absolute bad-CGI riddled snooze-fest full of cheesy acting, a terrible script, and some of the most blatant white washing in cinema history! This cast might as well have been painted, and the movie would have been just as bad. This movie should not have had ANY of the elements that it did, whether we’re talking about the acting, cast, CGI, script, or anything else… nothing works. It’s a piece of shit.
6) The 5th Wave. Young adult ficiton films are just about dead. Nobody cares anymore, not even the people behind the scenes. Chloe Grace Moretz sleepwalks through her role, which is of a young teenager caught in the middle- honestly, I don’t remember anything about this except for the fact that there’s this invasion and they humans are used as hosts, and you can tell by using some technology that allows you to see them, and there’s a ridiculous love b-story that came out of nowhere and didn’t work at all. This was like watching a bad Hallmark film and a bad SyFy film at the same time, with a lead actress who could do so much more. Add this to the pile of dead YA movie franchises… cue the “in memorium” music: Divergent, Mortal Instruments, Eragon, The Seeker, The Golden Compass, Alex Rider, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Percy Jackson, Narnia, Ender’s Game, Spiderwick, and the list goes on forever.
That’s all for the first part of this list, head over to the next list in my countdown, Worst Films of 2016 5-1! As always, comment your thoughts, share if you liked this, and thanks for reading! See ya soon!